I am too tired to be funny.

Do you want to know why this isn't going to be a funny post? Because I am too tired to be funny. The past seven days have been utterly insane due to one, 35 pound mighty hurricane named Alex. it all started last week he took an entire flat of eggs and smashed them on the floor, one by one. I had to use a BROOM and dustpan to start the clean up process. That broom and mop are over the fence, thanks to him. We live on a kind of a bluff over the street below, and our kids throw everything they can down to the passing cars. Fortunately the cars are too far to be hit, but dang it, if my kids don't try! Then we put a Home Depot gate plate and padlock on the fridge. So he moved on to other things. He pushed over our enormous tv, the one from Brent's glorious bachelor days. Back when a man was measured by the size and weight of his television. Hmmm...Not much has changed.
So Alex continued this week with his reign of destruction, but let me pause here. I was never idle, sitting and watching TV while he attacked my home. It was always while I was just in the next room, or changing loads upstairs. He climbed up and put our phone receiver into the fish tank so they could call Aunt Sissy. He snuck into our bathroom when I thought he was asleep and stuck a pen in the toilet, then pushed the porcelain top off the tank and sent it smashing onto the ground. I didn't think those things could break into so many pieces. Last night I was just getting out the kids PJs to put them to bed when I heard a distinctive "click" in the kitchen. I knew that sound - and I was right, it was the toaster. Alex has crawled up, stuffed a paper towel in the slot and turned it on.
He's out to get me. He's trying to drive me out, or something. But now I am too exhausted to be funny. Although I suspect some of you sick people will find this all hilarious. Just wait. You might someday give birth to an "Alex", too. And then I will laugh, and laugh...and laugh...