Bouncing Butts and other pearls of wisdom.

There are some things that I have learned about being on a treadmill, and I thought I would share these gems with you.
1. Eating a large breakfast before running is just begging for a stabbing cramp in your side. Save the gorging for after you've gotten home and collapsed on the couch.
2. Do not get on the treadmill next to two female friends. Their inane yapping cannot be drowned out by the iPod, no matter how loud you blast it, and running faster out of anger does not, in fact, carry you further away from them.
3. Stop clenching your cheeks and just go ahead and pass gas, this place smells like sweat and testosterone anyways. Your gas might be an improvement.
3. If the song you are listening to is perfect for the rhythm of your running, keep playing it again and again, even if it is Ricky Martin's "Shake Your Bon Bon". Trying to find another song with the same rythmn is pointless and you may lose your focus.
4. Don't lose your focus. The entire gym can hear it when your sneakers skid on the sides of the treadmill. Then they are all thinking: "That poor sea lion wandered into here, we should help him out..."
5. The problem of your butt bouncing and hurting really bad will solve itself if you just keep going to the gym everyday.